scars

Seasons

I was drenched in rain
Crying to life with my pains
Screaming while the sky roars
Hoping all this would end
But it seems like the storm just began
To troll my heart
Tear up the fragile soul
That was out in the cold.
Terrified

Pandora Diary: From Red to Rainy days

 A ship was struck by lighting and a storm.  April 14 2015, 4:30pm at a coffee cafe, he was wearing green and i was red, we sat in an corner table. He was pretty angry for making him wait this long. But his mood changed quickly and he complimented me for looking beautiful. Since it was raining we was all drenched wet yet we talked. It didn’t matter if he made me pay for what we ate, he kissed in my cheeks and told me he loved me, that is a moment to kill someone in deep affectionate thoughts like i felt, i was thinking maybe this is my new chance to begin something.

The sky was crying for the ship and water was so focused on destroying it. May 14th my exams started. I couldn’t meet him, that was probably another chance went away. June came along my exams ended and he became busy. We never talked, he didnt mostly. Technology becoming so advanced yet it fails to make to people talk, especially when someone is dying to. 30th June, his birthday. Ofcourse he didn’t invite me to his party with his friend. Moreover his friends don’t even know me. They know nothing about me, he never mentioned about me. I wished him anyways. July 4th my birthday, neither he called nor a text nothing from him. I guess he forgot. The ship was slowly sinking in the dark blue sea. .I will go to the same university as he is in. I will still go there for myself.

The world shall pray for those lost souls. And now it’s rainy season. The sky is always crying, for me and all those sad and damaged souls who can’t cry out loud. And he is with someone else, thats what the picture of him holding someone else’s hand said, I am with someone but i secretly still hope this is a new story, it has to be. The ship cannot be untraceable.

Pandora Diary: Perspective of Love.

Love is a state of being. Love doesn’t mean that it should be on a particular person, it can be on anything, passion, something rarely magical to ones eyes yet too complicated to understand by others. That is love. love is sometimes complicated but its sweet as honey.

Love is when he laid his eyes on hers and the time stopped for a while. Love is when someone accepts you for who you are and doesnot complain about it. Its all accepting everything about that person.
Love is when you can’t live without them. You can live without them…people who says that are living, but its sometimes when you say you can’t you mean a life without them is dull, shallow.
Love is when they leave you for someone. If they leave you in the first place they weren’t meant for you. Believe in god, he does things for a reason.

Love is not when you play with someone’s feelings. If love was easy people around the world wont have cried themselves to sleep nor changed or ruined their lives. If love was meant for ruining peoples lives then love wouldn’t be a part of life.

Pandora Diary: Questions

I have a chance tomorrow to get into something my parents are asking for. But i have different plans and i think way different then anyone around me. I want to study something totally different from everyone else and i want to do good in that, i like it but i think they don’t want it so we have fights each and every night. I really want to do something for myself and i don’t i am going to miss my chance by letting someone else dream for me or plan what i am going to do in my future. All i want is to follow my dreams and my passion but the question arises with ”what if and buts”.

Pandora Diary: Meet and Greet

The holy month of Ramadan ends and EID begins. There is no chance of being sad on that very day of ours.  Fire works on the dark night sky the day before EID. People coming out from their morning prayers and hugging people they know and greeting them on the first day of EID. The mosques filled with people and mostly wearing white. At home, bunch of people comes and goes, while tables filled wiith rich food and girls wearing beautiful attires. Then arrives the moment of having salami (EIDI or money provided by elders to young children as blessings). That is fun, when children would rush to the elders. On the other hand, the less fortunate, gets clothes and food as well. There are volunteers who would provide gifts for them or donations from mosques or families giving to them. Its nice to see someone being happy by someone who has more and have the willingness to share. Having the willingness to share happiness with someone who have less is a blessing.  

Pandora Diary: Out of reach

Around the months of November or December of 2013 he knocked her in a dating site. Unsure of what’s going to happen she didn’t disclose anything and he on the other hand took the risk and asked her out. She denied, it was obvious. He was trying to keep connection with her. They had few things in common, she started sharing and later discover she lived near his home..so slowly he got lost in her eyes…..he fell in love with her.

June 2014, the love he had for her all drained out, the situation changed, he left her alone, he wasn’t trying to keep any constant connection with her, but she was dying. She fell in love with him. He moved on. That’s the sad story.

January 2015, first day of this year, she swore to herself she would end the last day of this year with him. She swore she is going to change her life and shes gonna continue loving him. Even after his out of reach.

Maybe the stars have to do something with my decisions because we still talk even thiers no emotions.

This Summer: Thunders and Rain

Do u feel like, your all alone..in a a dark hole?
Do you  dream of the sun, like going down, never showing up?
We all feel hurt and loss, but they don’t let us
We all fight in in the rain, but scream louder…..louder then the thunders
Louder then the nature’s cry
Breaking into many parts….still flying high.

Do they feel. like we do under the rain  and sun
They just see rain water, rolling down my cheeks
No, they don’t dream…they just  think…
They just fight, fight with the sticks and stones
They can’t never cry nor scream… louder….louder then the thunders
Louder  then the  nature’s cry
They’re dead…broke into pieces..standing low…under our feet.

This summer: dive

Dive into the blue….cool…water
Eyes to see, hands to feel and bodies to move
No breathing just dancing under water
Refreshing  in summer

this summer: Plastic living thing

Just staring at his eyes, as he stares at his phone
Was trying to hold his hand like we used to do
Before they brought the out that plastic living thing, with luxurious services
That  everyone carries  nowadays….everywhere they go…whatever they do
We just get so much attraction in complaining about others lives
Whereas we our-self stare at a box, amazed by the little words and letters
Scrolling up and down, maybe side to side
Just signing up in various social medias,
Charging my phone, feeling down when theres no one
No cuddling, no smooching, no privacy
No conversations no nothing.